Rachael Kirkconnell was 'in total shock' after Matt James posted about their breakup on Instagram: The biggest revelations from her 'Call Her Daddy' interview

Rachael Kirkconnell is ready to tell her side of the story.

Nearly two weeks after her boyfriend, former Bachelor Matt James, suddenly announced on Instagram that he and Kirkconnell, who received his final rose in March 2021, had broken up after four years, the Season 25 winner sat down with podcaster Alex Cooper on the Jan. 28 episode of Call Her Daddy to set the record straight.

News of James and Kirkconnell’s split sent shock waves through the Bachelor Nation fandom, with many even speculating that James had been hacked or that the breakup was a hoax.

Following their brief breakup in 2021, James and Kirkconnell were seemingly solid. In their four years of dating, they’ve made near-constant appearances on each other’s Instagrams. As far as fans following the pair on social media were concerned, nothing indicated that there was trouble in paradise.

“I wanted to do this for me,” Kirkconnell said of her decision to go on Call Her Daddy. “I just really wanted to do it just to help myself move on and get some closure. I just feel like after four years and after all this craziness, something just needed to be said.”

Kirkconnell’s interview was rife with surprising and heartbreaking revelations. Here are the standout moments.

James and Kirkconnell talked about picking out an engagement ring

Kirkconnell said that it was during their third year of dating when she began asking James about the future of their relationship. She told Cooper she didn’t need details on when a proposal was happening, but she wanted to ensure that she and James were on the same page. At the time, James made her feel as if they were.

“We talked about rings. He told me a few months ago to start saving some things, picking things out or that we should go look at some. That was a big deal, I would say, for him to say,” Kirkconnell said.

As their relationship continued, Kirkconnell felt like James was becoming more open to discussions about their future.

“I think, at first, I could tell [marriage] was something that did scare him a lot or it was a really hard thing for him to talk about, and it just seemed easier and easier [to talk about] as our relationship went on, so I felt like that was a good sign,” she said. “I think when he started talking about kids and picking out a ring and wedding food and where we want the wedding… I used those things just to hold on.”

The breakup stemmed from an argument that opened ‘a can of worms’

Kirkconnell and James were traveling together in the weeks leading up to their breakup. She’d met up with him in London, and the pair flew to Tokyo, where their breakup ultimately took place.

Knowing that James’s livelihood is tied to producing food-related content on social media, the night before their breakup, Kirkconnell said she felt pressured to pick a good restaurant for dinner because when you’re traveling “every meal counts.” The meal ended up being a disappointment, and Kirkconnell responded emotionally because she felt like she’d let James down. James was concerned about her “getting so upset.”

While on the way to get food the next morning, Kirkconnell said James “kind of snapped” at her when she was trying to show him videos on her phone. She stood up for herself, telling James, “Even if I’m annoying you, don’t treat me like that.” They later got into an argument that opened “a can of worms,” and eventually led to them breaking up.

“[James] said that at the end of the day, there were just qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife,” she said. “It was one of those things where I think he just had this realization that, I should want to propose to you by this time … and I should be ready for that, but I’m not still.”

Kirkconnell had asked James if he felt like his “perfect person” was still out there.

“‘Do you want to make this work? Do you think that it’s me or is it something with you? Are you scared? … Is your perfect person somewhere out there? Is it not me?’” she recalled asking him. “He came to the conclusion that he didn’t think it was me, and he said he didn’t want me to end up resenting him by wasting more of my time if it wouldn’t happen.”

When Kirkconnell learned of James’s bombshell Instagram post revealing they’d broken up, she had just boarded her flight back to Atlanta. She found out about it after one of her best friends texted her.

“I’m freaking out because [I] just got broken up with and now a few hours later, it’s for the whole world to see,” she said. “I’m still trying to process it. I’m still in total shock. Then knowing the whole world is seeing this. I’m like, ‘This is so crazy, I can’t even wrap my mind around this right now.’”

She said the post went up two to three hours after they called off their relationship.

Kirkconnell told Cooper she thought James’s caption for the breakup post was “interesting ... because it almost seemed like saying it like a prayer was the easier way to say it than to say something real. Not that a prayer’s not real, but just something that was authentic to our actual relationship.”

“But it’s very him,” Kirkconnell said. “I guess it didn’t surprise me that he said it like that. I guess I’m just surprised that he said it at all.”

Kirkconnell doesn’t think they’ll ever get back together

James called Kirkconnell five days after their breakup. During their conversation, which lasted over an hour, James apologized for announcing their split on Instagram. While Kirkconnell hopes she and James can stay friends, she doesn’t see herself ever getting back together with him.

“I don’t think I can,” she said. “I think when someone says those things he said, ‘I don’t think you’re my person. I don’t see us getting married,’ I think that’s when you have to call it quits. And just the way he handled all of this and his post and everything. I forgive him, but … I felt like he disrespected me at the end of the day doing that. It’s just one of those things where you have to stand up for yourself even if you don’t want to.”