Great Britain’s Jazmin Sawyers, who won her first major long jump title at the European indoors in March, will feature in a series of BBC Sport columns in the build-up to August’s World Athletics Championships in Budapest.
In her first piece, Jazz reflects on ending her wait for gold, the difficult moments she overcame to make it happen, and drawing inspiration from Jessica Ennis-Hill and team-mates Dina Asher-Smith and Morgan Lake.
I’ve always loved competing. In the heat of a championship is my favourite place to be, but until March this year I’d never taken gold, and I’d been underestimating just how good it would feel to win.
Winning European gold made all the difficult times and the losses worthwhile. To finally stand on top of the podium, hear the national anthem and see the union jack rise because I’d won – I wouldn’t swap that moment for anything.
But it has also made me greedier because now I know what gold feels like. Now, in those hardest moments, when I need a bit of extra motivation, I think of that winning feeling.
It was easily the best moment I’ve experienced in my career, especially because I wasn’t expecting it.
Jumping seven metres is a goal I have had for so long. It had started to feel like a pipe dream. It’s really hard to explain all the different feelings I had in the moments which followed.
First of all, it’s just elation. I’m leading with one round remaining, I’ve just broken the British indoor record and I’ve set a huge personal best.
But it was also relief. I knew I was right, that I could actually do this. The belief I had over the past 10 years wasn’t misplaced. Then there’s the utter shock.
All those things came crashing in on me at once, causing one big reaction.
I’m not one to control my emotions very well. If I’m feeling it, you’re going to see it.
There were times I doubted myself, especially during a six-year drought when I didn’t stand on an international podium.
My fourth-place finish at the Commonwealth Games last year in Birmingham felt like the lowest point in my career. I should have been able to get on that podium and it stayed in my head for longer than usual.
Not being able to do it then, in front of a home crowd, with my family there and in perfect conditions, it felt like evidence that I couldn’t do it any more.
That feeling persisted until the outdoor European Championships a few weeks later. I didn’t want to be there, but as soon as I stood on the runway I remembered how much I love it.
Snatching bronze at that competition, in the final round, reminded me that I am capable and it renewed my hunger for it. More crucially, it renewed my belief.
Learning from Jessica Ennis-Hill & leaning on friends
Having a variety of hobbies, which for me includes sewing a dress or tinkering around with a guitar trying to write a song during my recovery time, is really helpful in taking my mind away from obsessing over setbacks in sport. I love to keep busy.
As is having high-achieving friends who are doing seemingly ridiculous things – it humanises the process.
It can be easy to look at elite athletes and think they must be doing something special, or that they must have something I don’t.
My first experience of realising elite athletes are just normal people with self-belief who work hard was when I got to train with Jessica Ennis-Hill.
She was an incredibly talented athlete but she just worked really hard and it hit me then that there is no secret, magic thing going on.
I have had my group WhatsApp chat with British team-mates Dina Asher-Smith and Morgan Lake for years.
It is so helpful to have close friends going through the same thing as you, that have a deep level of understanding of how it all feels, how the pressure feels, and who you can speak to about things that maybe don’t seem so important to others.
Having them to bounce off to say “Hey, I’m feeling like this” or “What do you think of this? Is this normal?” can make a huge difference.
When Dina started to break through it was really inspirational for me and Morgan because yes, she’s a world champion, but she is our friend. If she is able to do it, then why can’t we?
All three of us broke our respective British indoor records this season and it just felt like each success triggered the next one.
We can have those conversations about elite athlete things, but also just be a group of women having a little gossip.
Shortly before her 100m final at the 2018 European Championships, Dina sent a concerning message which read ‘Emergency!’ – but she just wanted our opinion on which scrunchie she should wear. Of course we gave it to her, and then she won gold.
It’s great to have them as two of my best friends and that group chat means the absolute world to me.
‘Winning gold woke something up within me’
The big aim for me now has to be to win the World Championships.
At this stage of my career, as a seven-metre jumper, anything below that and I’d be selling myself short. It would be crazy to aim for anything less.
To take European gold I beat the reigning world and Olympic champion Malaika Mihambo and the world indoor champion Ivana Vuleta. That fills me with confidence.
In Budapest in August I’ll be up against them again, along with many other incredible athletes, but now I’ve proven that I’m one of them.
It will likely take a jump beyond seven metres to top the podium in Budapest, so I’m back in training to extend that new personal best of mine.
What would it mean to win world gold? Well, it would mean we’re on for the Olympics in Paris next year!
A world title is something I’ve always dreamed of but the Olympics is the ultimate prize.
I’ve not been with my coach Aston Moore for even a year yet, and we still have plenty of work to do, so victory or even a podium placing at the World Championships would mean we’re headed in the direction we would want to be for Paris.
I don’t know quite how far I’ll jump, but what I can tell you is this: winning woke something up within me, and I’ve never wanted to stand atop a podium more than I do now.
Jazmin Sawyers was talking to BBC Sport’s Harry Poole.